Raising Minimalists: Decluttering with Kidsfeatured
As the title of this series implies, a significant part of our goal in living a minimalist lifestyle is to raise children who are thoughtful people and consumers. Because of this, we engage our daughters in the process of downsizing and make a point to explain our decisions of what we keep in our lives and what we remove. We also discuss what happens to our items after they are removed.
I was surprised in reading minimalist literature that many parents declutter after their kids have gone to bed to avoid conflict. For us, the opposite would be true.
Our goal is not simply to be rid of the items, but to show our daughters how the process works from beginning to end. I don’t want to create an insecurity around their possessions that makes them cling more closely to them and dread giving them up. I want to show them that ownership requires thoughtfulness and a consideration of others.
This means that when we go through any area of their belongings it takes a long time and usually several small steps to address downsizing. The trade off is that they take ownership of the items they keep and new things they acquire.
Sometimes it also means I have to keep the big picture of a learned lifestyle in mind and allow them to give away toys and clothes that I wish they wouldn’t and hold onto others that I wish would go.
A significant part of our conversation with the girls on why we give things away has centered around the fact that they can be better used by someone else. This has pushed us to be more careful about what we do with the things we don’t need.
We now recycle or throw away items that are broken or worn out rather than mindlessly throwing them in a donation bin and adding to the massive amount of stuff workers have to sort through. We target our donations to organizations that we think will get the most use out of them. Rather than throwing everything in a Goodwill drive through bin, we donate baby and maternity items to a local woman/baby facility. We donate dress clothes to a company that passes them along to professionals looking for work.
Focusing on what happens to our items once we give them away has made us more aware of the needs of our community and the organizations that are working to meet those needs.
Throughout the year, we regularly assess what we need and what can be given away, but we also want to move beyond simply getting rid of unnecessary things to consider how we can give to meet the needs of others.
One of our favorite family traditions is Saint Nicholas Eve. We begin Advent by going through everything we own and filling a bag (or several) by asking whether things may be more needed or better used by someone else. This is our opportunity to give of the things that we value. Last year, Molly gave up several stuffed animals that she genuinely enjoyed because she thought they’d make great gifts for other kids.
Once the girls fill their bag, they leave it by the front door for Saint Nicholas to pick up. On Christmas, they receive their bags back with a small gift and a thank you letter from Saint Nicholas. Some of my proudest moments as a parent happened last year when people asked Molly if Santa was going to bring her something for Christmas. Her response was always, “he already came to our house, and we helped him take toys to the kids!”
I assumed that like many habits we work to instill in our daughters this mindset would take years to sink in. I was completely wrong. Or Molly is a born minimalist. She also appears to be a born writer and has little interest in coloring apart from jotting down notes. Since her tool of choice is a pen, I picked up a pack of colorful pens and a new notebook at the store. She asked why I was buying them, and after I explained my reasoning, she responded, “but I already have a pen and pages in my notebook. I don’t need those.”
Last week after taking stock of her birthday gifts, I started wondering out loud where we should put some of the new items. Without prompting, Molly suggested that since she had so many new toys she should pass along some toys to other kids since she didn’t need them all.
Out of the mouths of babes.
