Raising Minimalists: Baby Items.featured
It seems to be the paramount parent question of our time: how do we control the outrageous amount of stuff that has become seemingly inseparable from having children? For us, the answer was simply by not accepting that it has to be this way.
Unsurprisingly, the more children and experience parents have, the less they find necessary for raising children. Which is why, as one of six children raised by concientious parents, I should have taken advantage of the wealth of wisdom at my disposal rather than consulting a Pinterest “baby essentials” checklist. A wise father of seven who worked with Jeff gave us sage advice that we mostly ignored while preparing for Molly. He told us not to buy the baby version of anything. Why do babies require different towels than adults? Why do they need a mini bathtub that requires filling the actual tub when you could simply use the kitchen sink?
While waiting for Emma, we began downsizing in earnest. Instead of the near-apocalyptic stocking up that defined my first nesting period, I couldn’t get rid of items quickly enough. We kept only items that we had used frequently when Molly was a baby and focused on items that served more than one function. Instead of a bassinet, swing, and bouncy seat, we kept a small, rocking baby bed that we could easily move around the house. We gave up our baby bath sling and bathed Emma in inches of water with a sponge or washcloth propped under her head. In the end we kept less than ten items that we felt had added value when Molly was a newborn. Certainly the confidence of being second time parents added to the ease of this task, but as first time parents I wish we had taken the approach of buying useful items as we got to know our baby and what worked for us as parents rather than having so many things on hand from the beginning.
For me, the items we removed during this time were not neutral. They added stress by the physical space they held certainly, but more insidiously they served as constant reminders of marketing campaigns that tied peaceful parenting to owning the perfect combination of charming, well-researched items. As if the reason my newborn cried was not because she was a healthy baby, but because we didn’t own the perfect swing with just the right combination of motion, vibration, and soothing rainforest sounds. Instead of treating a new baby as a natural part of life, these campaigns portrayed parenthood as a series of near-emergencies and constant stress saved only by whatever item they had designed to solve a presumed problem.
The result of our downsizing was staggering. Instead of spending the weeks leading up to Emma’s birth cleaning and organizing hoards of baby things, we spent it enjoying the fall weather with Molly. I spent her due date catching up with a good friend over coffee. And instead of spending the first weeks of her life shut up in the house, overwhelmed by the task of figuring out what we might “need” for an hour trip to the grocery store, we threw a few diapers and (doubtfully) a back-up onesie in the bag and headed to mass and dinner.
Of course there are things that make parenthood easier and childhood happier. I don’t claim to live or desire to live owning nothing for our children. But there is freedom in recognizing that none of it is essential to raising healthy, happy, well-developed children. That people the world over and for generations before ours have raised children without any of the items we have begun to assume are essential. The challenge then becomes taking ownership of what and how much we allow into our home.
